All My Rage Review
By Nic Daniels
[TW: mentions of sexual and physical abuse, addiction]
Hello again, audacious readers! We’re starting of year two of the Audacity Book Club with an emotional bang. Last month, we rounded out Hot Love Summer with The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow. This month, we’re heading into the harsh reality of the “American Dream” in All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir.
Taking place in Juniper, California, Salahudin and Noor were best friends growing up. However, after Noor confesses romantic feelings to him, their bond swiftly falls apart and sends them down vastly different paths. With Sal’s mother having a steep decline in health and his father’s alcoholism, his family’s business—and overall future—is on the line. Desperate, he turns to drug dealing to pay the piling bills.
Noor, on the other hand, has only one goal: go to college. But what once was a promising dream becoming more unlikely as her grades decline due her lost friendship with Salahudin along with her safe haven of spending time with his mother, Misbah. Meanwhile, her uncle is determined to keep her right where she is—working odd hours at his convenience store while he aspires to greatness. As their future inches closer, Noor and Salahudin have to make life-changing decisions and face past mistakes for better or worse.
Sabaa Tahir held no punches with this book and I had to sit down a few times while reading this book. There’s soooo much I could cover but this review would be 1,000 words long so I’ll just stick to the highlights.
For one, reading Misbah’s chapters, her perspective taking place twenty years prior, in juxtaposition to her son’s life is heartbreaking with her hopes in a lot of ways being a direct cause of his struggles. I wanted to yell “Stop!” so many times but her choices were also understandable She was doing her best.
Still, that doesn’t make it easy when you see the weight of Sal’s dad addiction has on him, his anxiety when it comes to dealing with people, or the overwhelming debt he feels towards his mother to keep her dream alive after she dies. I also felt a similar helplessness with Salahudin when he decides to become a drug dealer, the storyline is steeped in resentment of fixing his parents’ mistakes.
With Noor, it’s a bit different. For one, this storyline has much more anger, understandable so. With Salahudin’s rejection piling on top of her uncle’s abuse and Misbah’s death, she has little support, especially coming from her culture and religion as her uncle rejects both. Despite knowing she was lucky to survive an earthquake that killed the rest of her immediate family in Pakistan, it doesn’t make the present any easier. The relatability (at least to a certain degree) is painful.
On another, very serious note, I have to commend Tahir for how she portrays abuse in this book. Instead of making it straightforward, she instead has Noor repeat surviving the earthquake in Pakistan. How the house collapsed around her, how her uncle dug her out, and how lucky she was. It’s repeated every time her uncle hits her, taking the reader into a different headspace. So much so, that I was suspicious but wasn’t sure if she was getting abused or not. It also made it hit that much harder when it was revealed she was.
Same with it being alluded to that Salahudin was sexually assaulted and how the impact of that trauma is threaded through his entire story. It’s thoughtfully done, which doesn’t happen with a lot of writers. IT also makes a point about how, until you know the full story, there are so many signs of abuse you can miss. It also makes the forgiveness at the end of the story—after much more craziness that I really can’t fit into this review—that much more satisfying. Honestly, you just have to read it and enjoy the masterclass of storytelling.
Anyway, let me know what you think of All My Rage. Don’t forget to join the book club IG live, where we talk about all the things we couldn’t fit in here, coming soon!
Until next, don’t forget to read audaciously!
