Shoutout to Our Work Friends!
By Lanee Higgins
Work is an absolutely miserable place when you don’t feel supported or appreciated. But that’s where work friends come in. This piece is dedicated to all the work friends who have come and gone as we've changed jobs, careers, and locations. They have kept us mentally and emotionally stable, from doing things we’ll probably regret, and most importantly employed.
Here are three reasons why building friendships with coworkers you trust is vital to our success in the workplace:
1. They support you when you need it.
Our work friends are often the people we turn to when we need advice about something relating to our professional lives. When you find yourself stuck in a difficult situation, they can provide perspective to aid you in your decision, especially if they have been at the company longer. They can become mentors to you and offer ideas that you hadn’t thought of. They provide insight and may even be able to teach you and train you with skills that you gain from them and on the job.
Our friends at work offer a perspective that your friends outside of work or family can’t fully understand. Your loved ones can sympathize, but they don’t work at your organization, so they do not understand the nuances and feats that you face at work everyday. Having friends that you can talk to about your daily workplace challenges about can make you feel seen, heard, appreciated, and accepted.
You always have someone to talk to and sit with at the company events. They provide a safe space of belonging and acceptance. And sometimes you don’t find that with your boss, supervisor, or even within your department, but you can find it with your coworkers. This is important to anyone who has a successful, gainful employment, because the truth is that you can’t do it alone. Having just one work friend can make a real difference in your overall well being.
2. They keep you from quitting abruptly or getting fired.
Listen, many of us have had those days where we’ve just had it and we’re DONE. Things that happen at work can leave us feeling angry and utterly defeated. For example:
You were blamed for the mistakes of your widely known incompetent coworker.
Your supervisor tried you one too many times.
You had a really shitty day with rude customers back to back to back.
You’ve been feeling unappreciated and burnt out for some time and you’ve had enough.
All of these feelings are valid. But acting on these feelings can be dangerous.
This is where your work friends come in. They can listen to the situation, offer advice, and help you brainstorm your next steps. Maybe the next step is quitting, and if that’s the case they can help you develop your exit strategy in a logical way instead of one that is abrupt and may cause you more stress in the long run. Maybe this is a problem that they are also facing and you can brainstorm how to go to HR, or move forward together.
Work friends help us think through our actions. They have the ears to hear us vent, the shoulders for us to cry on, and the hearts to give us the courage and support. As I type this I can hear my teacher bestie saying, “Now wait a minute,” right before I decide to let my temper get me fired.
Inevitably working with others means we are going to experience a range of emotions. Our work besties make it so we don’t have to carry the stress, trauma, and pain that comes with working—even with jobs that we love—alone. When we fall apart they are there to pick us up, put us back together, and make us feel whole.
3. They help you grow—personally and professionally.
Work friends come with connections, resources, and experience. In their network, they may know someone who can help you advance your career and reach your goals. They may provide guidance for professional development, conferences, and ask the tough questions about where you are and where you want to be.
They know you and what you’re capable of—they have seen you work everyday, succeed, fail, and try again. They watched you handle your crazy workloads, manage difficult tasks and projects, and lead meetings, activities, etc. Your coworker friends can vouch for your skillset and become important references and people you can lean on in the future.
There’s also a chance that your work friends will become lifelong friends. And they can continue to support you through different times and transitions in your life: relationships, moving, new jobs, promotions, children, etc. These connections and friendships that you surround yourself with can help you become the person that you are meant to be.
Having friends at work is essential to your success—professionally and personally.
Finding a good work friend takes time, and sometimes it can be difficult to connect with people at work. Ask yourself: Is there someone who you work with or communicate with often who you feel comfortable talking to? Start there.
As I close this article, I can’t help but feel gratitude for all the work friends I’ve had over the years. Their advice changed my life. Their guidance kept me employed, and their jokes were much needed relief on the worst days. Shoutout to all my work friends and yours too!
Meet the Writer
Lanee Higgins is a writer, mental health advocate, former educator, and author of 30 Quotes that F*cked Me Up. Her writing has appeared in Blavity, The Educator’s Room, GROWN, and in other digital platforms. Lanee believes in the power of sharing your story because everyone deserves to be heard.
