Ain't Never Not Been Black & Helium Review, Audacity Book Club

By Nic Daniels

We meet again so soon, audacious readers!

Hope you guys had a good February with more ups than downs. Last month, we got nostalgic with the graphic novel, Teen Titans: Beast Boy by Kami Garcia & Gabriel Picolo. This month, we’re going all the way real with two poetry volumes, Ain’t Never Not Been Black by Javon Johnson and Helium by Rudy Francisco.

Let’s talk about Ain’t Never Not Been Black first. Did I buy this book for the title alone? I sure did! But it quickly turned into a good payoff the moment I read the first poem in the book “Black 201.” It’s formatted as a class syllabus at the imaginary college of James Baldwin University, where the only requirement to take the class is to be “black…all kinds of black.” This sets the stage for the rest of poems, which are going to be black, extra black, and you will deal with it. Johnson covers everything from police brutality to cultural idolization to masculinity, all broken up with humor like the haiku series “Black Famous.” Johnson’s poems are familiar but not cliché, concise but not general. It feels very raw, even harsh to some degree, but refreshingly honest. And I’m here for all of it from beginning to end.

Helium on the other hand is, like the title implies, lighter. However, do not to be confused; it is not lighthearted. Instead, I think of it as calmer versus Johnson’s bolder tone. Francisco instead takes a look at blackness with more of a focus on mental health. He opens up about his anxiety, pushing through depression, and figuring out how the world works while black. Francisco holds a balance of hope and fear with poems like “Water,” which him equating a crowd to drowning, and “Instructions” where he goes through the process of self-forgiveness. It feels as though Francisco is sitting with us after a long night, talking to a friend about how dark the world can be and how they’re trying to figure out how to add more light to it.

I think what makes both volumes so special is the specific type of vulnerability shown in them. It’s the hard truth of high-functioning survival, two people revealing the weight of it as well as the fear that hides under it. It’s rare to see this kind of vulnerability in any kind of media for Black people without an explosive reaction or the suppression of it. While Johnson and Francisco talk about this anger, it’s not the focus of their works. Johnson focuses more on the extreme sport of living while black, the tiredness, and where he finds rest (“Black & Happy”). Francisco talks about how hard it can be to live, especially with anxiety and depression, but how you can choose to do it anyway, one moment at a time (“Sip”).

Both expose their hopes and fears as what they are without being bombastic for show. In simple, relatable words, Johnson reminds you to think while Francisco reminds you to breathe, letting their honesty do the rest.

All in all, these are great reads throughout the year because black history, black experience, black art isn’t just for February.

Hope you guys enjoyed both volumes featured this month. What did you think? Did you have a favorite? Which poem resonated with you the month? Let us know your thoughts!

See you guys next time and, as always, don’t forget to always read audaciously!